Have you ever thought that if a person really knew the "real" you, they wouldn't like you? Or that everyone else's life is better than yours, or not as messy as yours? We often assume that other people "have it all together" or that their life is "perfect." We know our own secrets, those things with which we struggle daily - perhaps it's being negative around my husband or kids, or not responding well to the insurance agent or telemarketer... what the house looks like when no one is visiting... Whatever it is, we often think if only other people really knew what we were like on the inside, all our sinful thoughts, all of our past mistakes, all of our "secrets," then they would judge and condemn us and not respect or like us anymore. I've definitely been there. I battle the thought that other people will judge and condemn me if they only really knew the "real" Nancy.
That's where this summer comes in. There were some things in my life that were hard this past spring. Things I really didn't want the world to know about, things I needed to process. Then this summer we were in Colorado for 2 months. Every time we're in Colorado, I share my life story with others. I always look forward to hearing what is happening in the lives of young college women as well as sharing with them about my life and my spiritual journey. Sort of. There comes a part when I get nervous (I go first!) as I tell them lots of details about my life. Some details that even close friends in Pennsylvania don't know. And here is what is so amazing: even when I share the hard parts of my story, times when I did not walk with God as I should, times when life was or is hard, these beautiful women listen and accept me. They don't accept the wrong behavior or wrong thoughts, but they listen, love, and forgive me. And they show me a picture of the way God loves me as well, not condoning sin but loving me and walking me through life.
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| 4 lovely college girls with whom I shared life at 6 am every morning |
This summer I had one more group with whom to share my life: fellow staff women who work with Cru. We were split into two groups, with me facilitating one group. Then some members of my group asked that we share our stories with one another. I got to go first. As I was telling my life journey, I wasn't planning on sharing the hardest part of this past spring. That would have been pretty risky. After all, we are all missionaries who are supposed to have it all together, right? But as I was talking, it just sort of came out. And guess what? Those beautiful staff women loved me and continued to respect me and embrace me even in the midst of hearing that I don't have it all together. Some of them had hard things they were going through as well. None of them were in the exact place where I was, with the same circumstances. Yet they were able to encourage me, help me to walk in the light, and see God's grace through the situation. The Bible talks about walking in the light and not in the darkness. So many times I'm tempted to try to appear like I have it all together because I think (erroneously) that others will like me more or respect me more if they don't see my areas of weakness or where I struggle. But that's not true. In reality, when I allow others to see the real me, blemishes and all, they can also see God working through that situation or weakness, and He gets the glory. They also see that I'm not perfect just like they're not perfect, and they can actually connect even better with me. They share with me the areas of their lives that are also hard, and we can encourage each other and live in community instead of living in isolation believing that no one else understands or struggles like we do.
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| my Cru staff small group this summer at Horsetooth Reservoir |
So the next time I'm tempted to "hide" behind a facade of being the "perfect" mom or wife or Cru staff, I'm hoping to let others know the "real" me. How about you? Have you tried being vulnerable with others, and letting them know the "real" you instead of hiding behind the picture of being the "perfect" person who has it all together?
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| another friend from this summer who knows the "real" me |
