Watching and Waiting... and Trusting

looking out my parents' back door this weekend

I went to visit my family in Virginia this past weekend while I needed to leave Costa Rica for a few days in order to be able to continue to drive there.   It was wonderful to get to see them even for just a few short days. While there my mom asked me if it surprised or saddened me to see her and my dad age.  (It can seem more drastic when you are not seeing the slow progression, just like when you haven't seen someone's children for awhile and they have changed so much!)  Sometimes it is.  It's hard to see my older sister in pain or to share conversations with loved ones in a few short hours when I wish I could be there days on end to talk face to face.  One weekend is not nearly long enough.  And sometimes I want to be the hero, to fix all the problems that face my friends and family.

Last night after I got home, a dear friend in another country messaged me. Her family is going through some really tough stuff similar to what we have faced before.  Similar to what many others have faced or will face, but that doesn't make it any easier.  It's hard.  Really hard.  And because I've been there,  I want to be there for my friend to physically hug her, weep with her, pray with her, read scriptures with her,  listen to her, bring her a meal, watch her kids, and more.  But I can't.  I'm geographically too far away.

And when I really think about what I want, what I really want is to make everything better.  To ease the pain.  To wish they didn't have to go through the difficult times.  But pain happens.  It's part of life.

 And then God reminds me that I am not God, that I cannot take away all their pain and heartache.  But He is God. And He is in control. He is with them.  He doesn't promise to fix every problem or to take away all the fear, the anger, the frustration, the sickness, the pain...  But He does promise to be with us.  He even promises that the trials we go through will make us more complete.  We will see Him more clearly and know Him better through these difficulties.

Psalm 62:1- 2 says, "My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from Him.  He alone is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress, I will never be shaken."  This is repeated later in the Psalm as a command: "Find rest, o my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from Him.  He alone is my salvation; He is my fortress, I will not be shaken."

Ultimately, I have to choose to rest in God, even when I can't be there to protect someone or fix their problems.  I have to trust God that He is with them, that He is their fortress and their salvation.  That He (not me!) is their God, and that He can handle it!.

So I pray fervently for those I love who are far away (and those who are close by.)  Sometimes I cry, too. Then I choose to rest in God and know that He is my rock and my salvation.  And that He is the rock and salvation of my friends and family, too.

God is our rock!